23. Tenet 2: Playing Field = 88: GCB: 88

Tenet 2 = 88: GCB: 88

                   
Playing field

Regardless of your cGPT, prior to embarking on an interpersonal interaction whether it be personal relationship, parent-child, work oriented etc, it is important to establish the playing field so both the "provider" and the "receiver" are not only playing the same game but knowing of the same rules, norms and point systems of that game.

When optimizing interpersonal interactions and relationships, similarly to game playing, setting forth agreed upon parameters is important.

Afterall, swinging a baseball bat wouldn't do you much good at the 25 yard line in a football game. Kicking a punt wouldn't do you much good in a golf game on par  11. . . Yet we often enter into our interpersonal relationshal dynamics without awareness od sidelines or set rules of the game.

How do we even expect a relationship to get off the ground if we don't know:
- what we're playing
- what game tools we're using let alone
- what field we are on or
- where to even begin driving toward in order to get there

No wonder there is a current 50 percent divorce rate, not to mention all the external "blocks" or "cheap plays" to use the sports expression.

There must be a desire by both teams (any # of individuals in each team) to WANT to play together. If there is no "want" to play together, there is no sport.

Remember, it is always an option to pick up a ball and play with yourself. You are not forced into playing any game. Relationships are always a choice. If you don't want to play or you rather play a different game, be a 1st line team player and switch playing fields rather than be second line player or a stand in.

Even in sports, "adversaries," so to speak "play together."  A game would not be fun or take place at all if either team didn't have the desire to be playing the game. Sure competition happens, sure feelings get escalated and adrenaline rushes, but there is a commitment to the game, and this commitment is what allows the game to occur.

A basketball team doesn't walk off the court after the first quarter because the opponent has sunk 4 three-pointers. At least I have yet to hear of this happening in professional sports. A jockey doesn't stop at the races and turn his horse around to re-enter the stalls. Even if he is the very last rider, be continues on horse to the finish line.

This is not to suggest not to divorce if need be, this game player  concept simply means. . . Finish the game by utilizing all of livin4d's components and then if you cross the finish line and you and/or your partner just aren't interested in playing the same game anymore - GAME OVER.

Don't judge yourself and don't allow others to judge you either. You have stayed the entire course and are a stand up player!! Hooray!!  And you can feel good about yourself even if you have come in last (relational/interpersonal demise) because you have given it your all and you know you will be be able to have fun again in another round or on another field. You have not done anything like walking off the court in shame.

To actually apply Tennet 2 to your relationship, you can verbally put this analogy out there to your other game player to ensure you are both playing the same sport at any given point in time. This can be put out there prior to friction occurring or at time of friction in order to alleviate it.

If at any point in time it feels like the other team picks up a bat and starts swinging and you are on the football field, say so. By verbalizing this incongruency, it gives an opportunity for adjustment.

There may even be a time when you want to be in the bleachers and not in player game action. Let the other team know that you have a "bi" or that you are resting in a T/O (Time Out). You may even have a (mental/emotional) bruise or injury. While this may not be what the other player wants to hear, you are setting your own boundaries and parameters the game. You are stepping into UMP mode.

The other player will actually respect this affirmative action and may even be taken back for a moment not knowing what to do. This shock may be the result of having been in continual ping-pong mode for a long time without any directional movement, change or results. "Taking a stand" or "making a call" even if it isn't liked in the moment by the other player . . . Helps to enforce the rules of the game and set fort parameters.