49. The Black Steam Engine "I pull the likes of you? Certainly not." (A few artistic sidesteps. . . Ignore to stay with logical content).

I was and perhaps still am passionate about further developing and structuring lIVIN4d, but this will be one of lIVIN4ds last blog posts, as people in this "world's lifespan, (1977-2015)" in which I was raised don't seem to care about brilliant ideas with respect to this "world's lifespan."

I am not taking credit for this brilliance as I am the transmitter; a true reflection of us. I am not forced to be our conduit.  lIVIN4d's message relay has been a personal choice.

My daughter taught me, she "sees everything." I too "see everything." Perhaps ya'll do too. Though if the ladder is your true story, ya'll should feel shame at what you put us through.

I am not meaning to be a martyr in any shape or form. This stated, I have better things in which to attempt self entertainment rather than writing this blog for me myself and I. . . as I am not "Irene."

I make this blog cessation choice due to the fact that lIVIN4d is about interpersonal relations and at current time, I have zero including not having any relationship with a daughter Rose Alexandra Carter.

This severing of human relations is due to my belief that the human race is beyond toxic. Anyone who visits our lives' story will understand:

                     Lily Janet Kotila
                                  &
               Rose Alexandra Carter

You would have to retrace our steps to know our shared path. I would be so grateful if anyone chooses to expose everything  "without shadows" of doubt as nothing has been hidden from view.

If at current time, the human race  admits faulty wiring due to structural design rather than anyone's personal fault, I will be more than happy to continue expanding the infrastructure of lIVIN4d. If the human race chooses to ignore the message of lIVIN4d, it would personally be sad for me, but expected as it would be well fitting within current human confines and parameters.

The author of a children's book teaches us well, the Black Steam Engine states with a laugh to the little blue engine, "I pull the likes of you? Certainly not!" Thank you for a great lesson. I wish I learned this lesson at 8 rather than 30 years later. Anyway, some are slow learners.

"Puff puff puff."
"Chug chug chug."

Quotes that so well epitomize the li(_)es of most humans.

I am grateful that the one person in this world whom I do care about, "Rose" will know when she is capable of understanding this writing that I did everything in my human mold (form?) to reflect her teachings. "I love her more than she can imagine."

Regardless of whether or not anyone chooses to illuminate our story . . .  on a personal level, not a lIVIN4d level . . . Fu.